William Steadman on NFL Draft Day 2007
Dateline: September 24, 2008, Chicago, Illinois. Photographs unearthed by our investigative reporter reveal that recent rumors about the root cause of the Cleveland Browns' offensive woes may be correct: Cleveland unwittingly drafted a now four-year-old Oak Park native boy with no prior football experience instead of the Notre Dame veteran they thought they were getting. The photos clearly show William Steadman, as a three-year-old in 2007, trying on his helmet in preparation for his first day of practice with the Browns.
A Cleveland Browns representative, speaking on condition on anonymity, denied the report. "Our offense sucks because it sucks. The fact that we drafted a 3 year old at quarterback has nothing to do with it."
William Steadman, reached for comment at his parents' home in Oak Park, told our reporter that "The money is great. Who ever thought I would get a five-year deal worth $20.2 million, with $7.5 million guaranteed? I probably won't ever get any of the incentives, but with this kind of money, I get my bling -- know what I mean?"