Chicago Minor League Hockey team Chicago Wolves announced today the acquisition of a secret weapon, forward William Steadman. The little-known Steadman promises to be the Wolves' high scorer within months. "I was with the Cleveland Browns playing American Football," said Steadman, "My uncle Peter convinced me to play for them. But they really stink. They were 31st in the league in points scored, 32nd in yards, 22nd in rushing yards allowed. They are 1-4 and the only reason they didn't lose this week was they had a bye. I mean, they are almost the Detroit Lions, you know what I mean? I couldn't carry the whole darn team... I'm only four years old! So I'm taking up hockey. I expect to go from the minors to the NHL pretty quickly. My mom says I have a lot of natural ability. She was a great athlete. And my Dad is a total stud." He added.
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