Volcanoes net first win in last-day doubleheader; Hot Wheels Steadman scores hat trick

Dateline: September 24, 2009.  Playing in cold conditions and ankle-deep mud, Voncanoes showed the spunk their fans have expected all season and netted their first win.  Playing against a team wearing yellow pinnies over their winter coats, and streaked with mud, Volcanoes hammered out a 4-0 shutout primarily on the strength of three goals by forward William "Hot Rod" Steadman.  "Call me 'Hat Trick' Steadman from now on!" he screamed to the electric crowd.

In the second game of the double-header against Green Machine, Volcanoes fared not as well, falling 0-6.

VOLCANOES 2009 TEAM PHOTO

Torpedoes and Volcanoes Rained Out

Dateline October 17, 2009.  Due to heavy rain in the Chicago area this week, scheduled matches for both Torpedoes F.C. and F.C. Volcanoes were canceled this weekend.  Torpedoes' match will be made up at a time to be determined, but Volcanoes' match will not.  "Darn it," said Volcanoes' forward William Steadman.  "My fans were really looking forward to trying out my new nickname, 'Hot Wheels Steadman.'"

"No they weren't," responded Sarah "Go-San" Steadman.  "You have an overactive imagination."

Orange Bolts lock Volcanoes 1-3 but Red Team gets first Goal

Dateline: October 10, 2009.  Dawn broke early and cold on the muddy field at Fox Park.  The referee arrived looking rough, possibly after a long Friday night on the town.  The Auger foretold a messy match, and messy it was as the Volcanoes dropped to 0-4 on the season.

But first there was business to do.  "The name 'Volcanoes' isn't lucky," announced forward William Steadman.  "We should change it."

"What do you like better?" his coach asked.

"Hot wheels!" he responded.

"There aren't enough people on the team who like that name to call for a vote," responded the Coach.  "Maybe next week."

Maybe that rejection fired Steadman's determination to get his first goal; no one will ever know.  But the rest of the morning went better for the Steadman than it did for Volcanoes.

The teams played wet and muddy scrum in the first half.  There were several good blocks by both teams' goalies.  Volcano Micah, playing goalie in the second quarter, was repeatedly forced to go face-down in the mud to make stops, so often that his jersey was a uniform shade of wet-brown by halftime.  But he prevented all shots, and it was all tied at zero going into halftime.

At the beginning of the third quarter, just after halftime, forward William "the Wolf" Steadman broke away with the ball, behind the Orange Bolt defense, and went end-to-end for a beautiful shot past the Bolt goalie.  It was the Volcanoes first offensive goal of the season. Steadman was all smiles and fist-pumps, clearly pleased with himself. 

Still in the third, a Volcano tripped a Bolt.  The referee, still looking dazed, awarded a cheap penalty kick that resulted in the Bolts' first goal and it was all tied again 1-1.

Orange scored again in the third to make the score 1-2.

In the fourth quarter, Steadman played stout defense then (after position substitutions) had another nice shot on goal that almost resulted in a score.  On the breakaway the other way, however, goalie Drew Kunkel fell asleep and allowed the Bolts' third goal.

The match ended 1-3, for the Volcanoes fourth consecutive loss.  But there was a lot to like in their spunky play.  They out-shot the Bolts, despite a size disadvantage, and they passed well.  They got their first goal, and at times showed excellent defense.  "We'll win one for sure by the end of the season," predicted an optimistic Steadman.  "But we may need a long season."

Orange Crush Fizzes Improved Volcanoes

Dateline: October 3, 2009.  Vocanoes showed improved play today but failed to capitalize as they lost their third straight game, this time to the Orange Crush. 

Before the match, forward William Steadman relaxed on the playground, relaxing, getting rady to play.  Volcanoes arrived at the pitch with an upbeat attitude, but things turned almost immediately as the Crush scored on the initial kickoff, taking the ball from midfield to directly to net. 

Volcanoes rallied, holding off Crush for two straight quarters after that.  Drew Kunkel and William Steadman both had impressive drives, with shots on goal, but the Crush goalie blocked all attacks. The ball control, passing, and attention were much improved over recent weeks, and this reporter was surprised that Volcanoes were not able to score.  Meanwhile, Steadman's little sister Emma "flag" Steadman chased the flag in the corner of the pitch, trying to catch it.  "It was just too high," she said.

Volcanoes kept it up for two quarters but, in the third quarter, Volcanoes lost focus with Kunkel playing goalie.  Kunkel, looking the other way, simply did not see the Crush attack, and Orange side scored on a good shot.

Steadman and Kunkel again had aggressive, impressive shots on goal in the fourth period, only to be denied by several lucky breaks that fell to the Crush goalie.  Of course, the match was interrupted several times to pet a furry fan.

With seconds left in the match, Crush scored a final lucky goal on Esteban, playing goalie, to end the match 3-0. 

So far, Volcanoes have failed to score an offensive goal this season which has been a surprise -- the feature good passing, good control, and good shooting but luck simply has not broken their way in a 0-3 start.

Orange Tigers Bite Volcanoes F.C. 6-1

Dateline: September 26, 2009, Fox Park. The Volcanoes Football Club fell to an 0-2 record this morning, surrendering 6 goals to Orange Tigers at Fox Park. Volcanoes averted a shutout, and notched their first point of the season, but it was on an inadvertent goal by one of the orange-shirted enemies. Despite a number of good shots by the Erupters, they simply could not put the ball in the back of the net.

William Steadman, who survived a hard-kicked ball to the face with nary a tear, mused after the match on the nature of winning and losing. "No one will remember who won the Oak Park Park District Pre-K/K league in 2009," he said. "We face impossible odds. We may lose every match. We may get blown out every time. We may never score again. But this is a team, dammit, and we stand for each other like men, like warriors." Then he mounted a park bench and began to rouse his team:

"If we are mark'd to die, we are enough to do our country loss; and if to live, the fewer men the greater share of honor. God's will! I pray thee, wish not one man more. Rather proclaim it, Westmoreland, through my host, that he which hath no stomach to this fight, let him depart; his passport shall be made, and crowns for convoy put into his purse; we would not play in that man's company that fears his fellowship to die with us. He that outlives this day and comes safe home, will stand a tip-toe when this day is nam'd, and rouse him a the name of Crispian! He that shall live this day and see old age will yearly on the vigil feast his neighbors, and say 'to-morrow is St. Crispian.' Then he will strip his sleeve and show his scars, and say 'These wounds I had on Crispian's day.' Old men forget; yet all shall be forgot, but he'll remember, with advantages, what feats he did that day. We few, we happy few, we band of brothers; for he to-day that sheds his blood with me shall be my brother; be he ne'er so vile. This day shall gentle his condition; and gentlemen in England now-a-bed shall think themselves accurs'd they were not here, and hold their manhoods cheap whiles any speaks that fought with us upon Saint Crispin's day."

After which he mounted a white horse and rode away across the pitch and out of Fox Park, exclaiming "Once more into the breach, dear friends! Once more; or close the wall up with our English dead!"

Volcanoes fall to Black Shirts 1-4 In Opener but Rookie Talent Erupts

Dateline: September 19, 2009, Fox Park. The Oak Park Volcanoes Football Club dropped their inaugural match to the Black Shirts 4-1 this morning. However, fans saw room for optimism in the debut of a number of rookie players for the Crimson Jerseys.

Coach Jamal met the team about 30 minutes before the game and gave an upbeat lecture to get blood pumping. There was really no need, as these 5 year old colts were ready to rumble. But there was business to cover. "What is the team's name," this intrepid reporter asked. "I don't know," responded Coach Jamal, who then quizzed his team about their choice for a moniker. "Flame," said one red-jersey wearing youth. "Lava," said another. "Volcanoes," said a third, and the name stuck.

But the real story was the premiere of hockey phenom William Steadman in a football, a sport where he had never played a game before. Steadman and his friend, Drew Kunkel, hammered the field throughout the morning giving fans and pundits plenty to discuss.

In the first quarter, Steadman was assigned to play wing. He quickly set the tone for the match with two shots on goal and excellent ball handling. Kunkel, his partner in crime, played defense and was awarded a goal kick but was unable to score.

In the second quarter, Steadman had a breakaway nearly all the way downfield but was unable to control the ball at the end for a clean shot. Black scored a goal while the Volcanoes' goalie had her back to the play -- oddly, it was a goal kick awarded for a foul but the goalie appeared not to be paying attention. Near the end of the quarter, Steadman had another shot on goal but like the first it was blocked by the Black's goalie.

In the third quarter, Volcano Daniel started in goal and had a magnificent block before missing the rebound to allow the Black's second goal. Teammate Gretchen was talking to her mother at the time. Kunkel then took the goalie position, but allowed another Black goal on a nearly identical play.

Steadman manned the goal for most of the Fourth quarter, and made a brilliant save. Later, however, he was seen swinging like a monkey from the crossbar, and eventually allowed a fourth Black goal high in the corner. Nevertheless, close observers saw potential in his play, including several charges on the ball that resulted in key turnovers.

"We lost," Steadman said after the game, "but I was excellent."